Amazing Interview!

Interviewer : Tell me about yourself. Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Inst it ute of Technology.
 

Interviewer : BabanRao Dhole-Patil Inst it ute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before! Candidate : Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it .. 
What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money".(The baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya

Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering. Candidate : Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years. 
Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6. Candidate: Oh, is it ? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot.. I think they should ban it .

Interviewer : Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned. Candidate : No, no... I am talking about Exams!! 
Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life? Candidate : Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it . In fact, when I flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus 
corporation in Maharashtra ) through some relative. 
Interviewer : Do you have any plans of higher study? Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education it self was so much of pain!! 
Interviewer : Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked? Candidate : Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai) 
Interviewer : And which languages have you used? Candidate : Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages. 
Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB? Candidate : It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up w it h a new language VD! 
Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language? Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it . But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly. 
Interviewer : What is your general project experience? Candidate : My general experience about projects is - most of the times they are in pipeline! 
Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job? Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata Info Tech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows. 
Interviewer : Do you have any project management experience? Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like - 'Showstoppers ' , 'hot fixes', 'SEI-CMM', 'quality', 'version control', 'deadlines' , 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes! 
Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company? Candidate : Not much. 
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.. 
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent. 
3. I believe in flexi-timings. 
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans. 
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork. 
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US,Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there are Olympics coming up in China in the current year, I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection? 
Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our 
organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to INFOSYS. 

The fellow was appointed in a newly created section 'Stress Management' in the HRD of Info sys.  So Just be urself......u never knw wats ahead of u....... Be Honest and Original...............true to urself!!!! 

Badalta Waqt

शायद ज़िन्दगी बदल रही है!!

जब मैं छोटा था, शायद दुनिया बहुत बड़ी हुआ करती थी..
मुझे याद है मेरे घर से "स्कूल" तक का वो रास्ता, क्या क्या नहीं था
वहां, चाट के ठेले, जलेबी की दुकान, बर्फ के गोले, सब कुछ,
अब वहां "मोबाइल शॉप", "विडियो पार्लर" हैं, फिर भी सब सूना है..
शायद अब दुनिया सिमट रही है...

जब मैं छोटा था, शायद शामे बहुत लम्बी हुआ करती थी.
मैं हाथ में पतंग की डोर पकडे, घंटो उडा करता था, वो लम्बी "साइकिल रेस",वो बचपन के खेल, वो हर शाम थक के चूर हो जाना,
अब शाम नहीं होती, दिन ढलता है और सीधे रात हो जाती है.
शायद वक्त सिमट रहा है..

 

जब मैं छोटा था, शायद दोस्ती बहुत गहरी हुआ करती थी,
दिन भर वो हुज़ोम बनाकर खेलना, वो दोस्तों के घर का खाना, वो लड़कियों की बातें, वो साथ रोना, अब भी मेरे कई दोस्त हैं,
पर दोस्ती जाने कहाँ है, जब भी "ट्रेफिक सिग्नल" पे मिलते हैं "हाई" करते हैं, और अपने अपने रास्ते चल देते हैं,
होली, दिवाली, जन्मदिन , नए साल पर बस SMS आ जाते हैं
शायद अब रिश्ते बदल रहें हैं..

जब मैं छोटा था, तब खेल भी अजीब हुआ करते थे,
छुपन छुपाई, लंगडी टांग, पोषम पा, कट थे केक, टिप्पी टीपी टाप.
अब इन्टरनेट, ऑफिस, हिल्म्स, से फुर्सत ही नहीं मिलती..
शायद ज़िन्दगी बदल रही है.

जिंदगी का सबसे बड़ा सच यही है.. जो अक्सर कबरिस्तान के बाहर बोर्ड पर
लिखा होता है.

"मंजिल तो यही थी, बस जिंदगी गुज़र गयी मेरी यहाँ आते आते "
.
.
.जिंदगी का लम्हा बहुत छोटा सा है.
कल की कोई बुनियाद नहीं है
और आने वाला कल सिर्फ सपने मैं ही हैं.
अब बच गए इस पल मैं..
तमन्नाओ से भरे इस जिंदगी मैं हम सिर्फ भाग रहे हैं..
इस जिंदगी को जियो न की काटो

 मिलते रहा करो यारो!